Where to begin? Life has been twisted and turned upside-down, but I'm slowly returning to some semblance of normalcy.
Europe was pretty damn fantastic. I have copious amounts of photos, and a ridiculous plethora of experiences. Telling highlights would take all day, it took me 2.5 hours to tell Nick and Rob about the more interesting things.... writing would take far too long. My photos on Facebook.com do a decent job of skimming the surface of our adventures, although I wish Lance would send me his to complete my crazy collection.
If you are in any way close to me, you'll already know that Chris and I decided we couldn't continue the long distance relationship we'd been maintaining all summer. Bittersweet is the only word that begins to explain the conversation, and my reaction has been mixed. On one hand, there is a huge weight lifted from me. I don't have to worry about making time to call, write, visit or even think about him all the time. But on the other hand, I enjoyed doing all of these things, and the lack of talking to him is bothering me. Difficult as it was, we probably made the best decision possible at the time, and I hope we both emerge from the gloom able to talk to each other without going insane. Without being faced with the situation everyday, it's easy to be happy and carefree and ridiculous with my friends and roommates, but I know the first conversation will bring back sadness, as will the first time I allow myself to look at photos again.
Meanwhile, I'm back at State and loving every minute of it. The challenge of a new semester, the promise of new classes, books, friends, ultimate tournaments and finally being in the upper half of underclassmen here... it's all so much to take in. I've been easing myself back into my insane schedule, and finding that maybe I can succeed at this life thing. At least, my version of success, which is basically just happiness and a feeling of fulfillment. I never seem to have the full set of things I think would make my life complete, but maybe that would be too easy. After all, we would not learn to grow and change without a little adversity now and again, would we?
I just want to be proud of my path, and so far, so good.
[The undertow will grab our heels and won't let go]
8.02.2006
Europe
Gone for 2.5 weeks as of today.
Itinerary: Switzerland, Italy (Cinque de Terre hike!), Germany, Czech Republic (Prague and countryside), France (Paris for 6 hours, woo!), and of course, Madrid, Spain.
Key phrase: Tienes comida vegetariana?/Je suis une vegetarienne.
and apparently in Germany, 'nein!' to all requests from strange men. Got it. ;-)
Auf Wiedersehen! Au Revoir! Arrivederci! Tot ziens! Adios! See ya!
Itinerary: Switzerland, Italy (Cinque de Terre hike!), Germany, Czech Republic (Prague and countryside), France (Paris for 6 hours, woo!), and of course, Madrid, Spain.
Key phrase: Tienes comida vegetariana?/Je suis une vegetarienne.
and apparently in Germany, 'nein!' to all requests from strange men. Got it. ;-)
Auf Wiedersehen! Au Revoir! Arrivederci! Tot ziens! Adios! See ya!
8.01.2006
waiting for birds to sing
Yesterday I had a very good day. I don't often see my younger brothers, because I haven't lived in the same house with them since I was in the 7th grade. Consequently, I missed out on a lot of their very important growing up moments.
Perhaps a retelling of the day would be a good starter for what I'm trying to convey. Today I am moving out of my summer house and into my apartment (finally! a lease for 12 MONTHS, a semi-permanent home!) Thankfully it is furnished, as I don't want to acquire "stuff" quite so early in my life, as I intend to be mobile post-grad. As a result, I needed my mattress and box springs picked up. Hence the visit from my aunt and two youngest brothers.
We went swimming at the pool I've worked at all summer, and the boys were impressed with the place. They behaved very well, contrary to my memories of them. It's hard to think of them at their current ages. To me, my brother Levi is still 3 and Cody is still 9. Strange to think now how much time has passed; Levi is now 10, and Cody is about to turn 16! It saddens me to think of how much of their lives I have missed because I was involved with my own life, being so much older and independant.
All 4 of us, all half siblings, have different talents, abilities, and gifts. It's funny to see how different 4 kids can be, growing up in the same environment for the most part. I always looked on my brothers as being "lesser" because they aren't and were never gifted at academics. Yesterday I was humbled. They are all so talented in ways that I could only dream to be.
Cody and I visited a music store, Marshall Music, and he played me a song. 'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd. This, my almost-16 year old brother, is a master of music. He played the guitar like he was born to do it. I suppose I should have seen it coming, from day 1 the kid had an ear. He could hop on any instrument and sound as if he had at least ONE lesson. He can play by ear what most would struggle with sheet music. He is a force to be reckoned with on guitar, drums, and saxaphone. He is driven and loves it, if this doesn't take him places, nothing will.
Levi, my youngest brother.... the epitome of cool. At 10. When I was 10, I had no idea what to wear, had no concept of cool shoes, hats, accessorizing. He is a skater punk, and for good reason. The kid can rock out a skateboard. We visited a skate park that we happened across in Frandor, and it was funny to hear him bust out skater terms, and rival the "big kids" in their skating abilities. We took him into Urban Outfitters, just to look around, and he loved every minute of it. He settled on buying some Vans arm bands and a hat for $4.99. Then in Dunham's he flipped out over tiny toy skateboards. It's refreshing to know he still is a normal kid in some ways.
The oldest of my younger brothers was not mentioned because he is also out pursuing his individual identity. Since July 17th he has been at boot camp in San Diego, CA becoming a MARINE. I can scarcely believe my younger brother- the one I used to play dress-up with, adorning him in girls' skirts and jewelry- is now a soldier.
Life is funny, but it's good to know despite our shaky upbringing we can all embrace our individual talents and turn out alright.
Perhaps a retelling of the day would be a good starter for what I'm trying to convey. Today I am moving out of my summer house and into my apartment (finally! a lease for 12 MONTHS, a semi-permanent home!) Thankfully it is furnished, as I don't want to acquire "stuff" quite so early in my life, as I intend to be mobile post-grad. As a result, I needed my mattress and box springs picked up. Hence the visit from my aunt and two youngest brothers.
We went swimming at the pool I've worked at all summer, and the boys were impressed with the place. They behaved very well, contrary to my memories of them. It's hard to think of them at their current ages. To me, my brother Levi is still 3 and Cody is still 9. Strange to think now how much time has passed; Levi is now 10, and Cody is about to turn 16! It saddens me to think of how much of their lives I have missed because I was involved with my own life, being so much older and independant.
All 4 of us, all half siblings, have different talents, abilities, and gifts. It's funny to see how different 4 kids can be, growing up in the same environment for the most part. I always looked on my brothers as being "lesser" because they aren't and were never gifted at academics. Yesterday I was humbled. They are all so talented in ways that I could only dream to be.
Cody and I visited a music store, Marshall Music, and he played me a song. 'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd. This, my almost-16 year old brother, is a master of music. He played the guitar like he was born to do it. I suppose I should have seen it coming, from day 1 the kid had an ear. He could hop on any instrument and sound as if he had at least ONE lesson. He can play by ear what most would struggle with sheet music. He is a force to be reckoned with on guitar, drums, and saxaphone. He is driven and loves it, if this doesn't take him places, nothing will.
Levi, my youngest brother.... the epitome of cool. At 10. When I was 10, I had no idea what to wear, had no concept of cool shoes, hats, accessorizing. He is a skater punk, and for good reason. The kid can rock out a skateboard. We visited a skate park that we happened across in Frandor, and it was funny to hear him bust out skater terms, and rival the "big kids" in their skating abilities. We took him into Urban Outfitters, just to look around, and he loved every minute of it. He settled on buying some Vans arm bands and a hat for $4.99. Then in Dunham's he flipped out over tiny toy skateboards. It's refreshing to know he still is a normal kid in some ways.
The oldest of my younger brothers was not mentioned because he is also out pursuing his individual identity. Since July 17th he has been at boot camp in San Diego, CA becoming a MARINE. I can scarcely believe my younger brother- the one I used to play dress-up with, adorning him in girls' skirts and jewelry- is now a soldier.
Life is funny, but it's good to know despite our shaky upbringing we can all embrace our individual talents and turn out alright.
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