so go on, if it makes you happier

Where to begin? Life has been twisted and turned upside-down, but I'm slowly returning to some semblance of normalcy.

Europe was pretty damn fantastic. I have copious amounts of photos, and a ridiculous plethora of experiences. Telling highlights would take all day, it took me 2.5 hours to tell Nick and Rob about the more interesting things.... writing would take far too long. My photos on Facebook.com do a decent job of skimming the surface of our adventures, although I wish Lance would send me his to complete my crazy collection.

If you are in any way close to me, you'll already know that Chris and I decided we couldn't continue the long distance relationship we'd been maintaining all summer. Bittersweet is the only word that begins to explain the conversation, and my reaction has been mixed. On one hand, there is a huge weight lifted from me. I don't have to worry about making time to call, write, visit or even think about him all the time. But on the other hand, I enjoyed doing all of these things, and the lack of talking to him is bothering me. Difficult as it was, we probably made the best decision possible at the time, and I hope we both emerge from the gloom able to talk to each other without going insane. Without being faced with the situation everyday, it's easy to be happy and carefree and ridiculous with my friends and roommates, but I know the first conversation will bring back sadness, as will the first time I allow myself to look at photos again.

Meanwhile, I'm back at State and loving every minute of it. The challenge of a new semester, the promise of new classes, books, friends, ultimate tournaments and finally being in the upper half of underclassmen here... it's all so much to take in. I've been easing myself back into my insane schedule, and finding that maybe I can succeed at this life thing. At least, my version of success, which is basically just happiness and a feeling of fulfillment. I never seem to have the full set of things I think would make my life complete, but maybe that would be too easy. After all, we would not learn to grow and change without a little adversity now and again, would we?

I just want to be proud of my path, and so far, so good.


[The undertow will grab our heels and won't let go]